Guacamole

Yet another delightful product from the testicle tree. All the ingredient amounts are approximate.

1 small clove of garlic, peeled, but whole
2 ripe avocados
1/2 tsp salt
1-2 tbsp lemon juice*
1/4 cup minced white or yellow onion (or one of the small 'soup' onions)
1/4 tsp chili powder
half a dozen or so splorks of your favorite hot sauce.

1) Rub the inside of a medium-sized ceramic or glass bowl with the garlic clove, coating the entire surface with garlic juice; discard the remainer of the clove. Don't use metal or plastic bowls, as the metal bowl will react with the garlic juice and give a metallic taste to the dip, and the plastic bowl will absorb the garlic flavor and will be useless for any non-garlic foodstuffs for the rest of eternity.

2) Scoop out the insides of the two avocados and add them to the bowl. Refer to my previous avocado post for tips on how to quickly and easily remove the stone, and what the hell the first sentence of this post refers to.

3) Add the salt and lemon juice, and mash the fruit until it starts to liquefy.

4) Add the onion, chili powder and hot sauce, and blend it in.

5) Add more hot sauce if you think it needs it.

Serve as close to immediately as possible. The avocado oxidizes fairly quickly, and turns a rather unappedtizing shade of brown.

If you want to prepare this meal ahead of time, I suggest covering the entire surface of the guacamole with a thin layer of sour cream, then stretch plastic wrap over the top of the bowl and refrigerate. The sour cream will inhibit the oxidation process. Then, when you go to serve it, swirl the sour cream slightly into the guac, making a lovely white-and-green pattern. If you're feeling especialy marthastewardy, sprinkle a few pieces of diced tomato on top.

yeharr

*I know many people who are lemon snobs; who only use real lemons and real lemon juice in their recipes. The amount listed above is approximately the same amount of juice as you would get out of half a small lemon. I don't always have another dish ready that would require the juice of half a small lemon, and the half of a lemon will sit in the refrigerator until I do my semi-annual refrigerator rescue., at which time it gets tossed into the trash with a silent self-curse for being so wasteful. So I rarely buy lemons, and instead use the reconstituted lemon juice in the plastic lemon-shaped squeeze bottles, and it still tastes great.

"Well," the snobs sneer snippishly, "if I was to make the same dish, but with real lemon juice, you'd notice the difference right away."

"Well," I reply, "if you were to make the same dish, I probably wouldn't have bothered to make this one."