This is my daughter's favorite appetizer
1) Take one 8 oz. slab of cream cheese and put it on the counter
2) Go watch 'Scrubs'
3) At the first commercial break, turn your oven on to 350
4) At the second commercial break, spread cream cheese over bottom of 11x7 pan (28x17 for you Canucks)
5) At the end break, open up a can of Hormel Chili (no beans) and pour it over the cream cheese
6) Scrubs never does a tag, so you'll also have time to pour half a bag or so of shredded taco cheese over it, and slide it in the oven.
7) Go watch '30 Rock'
8) At the first commercial break, take it out of the oven, and carry it into the living room with a bunch of paper napkins under one arm, and a bag of tortilla chips held in your teeth
9) dump all the stuff onto the coffee table
10) eat until bedtime
(optional: at second commercial break, tell one of your kids to get you a drink)
This might also work with other programs, such as 'Lost,' 'American Idol,' or '24,' but remember: break times vary.